zig zag

"This is the city where I learned to shave myself down to my easiest components;
I became girl, walking, bag of holding.
Coffee, coffee, beer, mouth.
I became too simple for showers so I washed in the bathroom stalls,
I became lipstick and eyeliner and nothing else.
I can’t walk far here without seeing my own ghost walk circles around her own want.
She was, on her best days;
hands, love, lips, laughter, next to the man who kissed for the same reasons wolfs howl.
But that was years ago.
And now anxiety makes me
Heartbeat, shivering, hunger.
Depression makes me
Sit, fog, hunger.
It breaks me into pieces where I can take one at a time and hold it up,
this is what I am today;
words, words, words.
My fingers find my keyboard easier than any language so I send a message even though someone is sitting right next to me.
I am in shards, and among those pieces my tongue never makes it out whole.
I am, as always, all simplistic components in the bottom of a bag here,
book, pens, lips, salt and cherry."